The impossible profession and its possible outcomes formulated in 60 experiences in a nutshell
This piece lists, in an evocative way, how the author hopes that psychoanalysis may contribute to liberation.
After being analysed one might hope to be able:
- To love unconditionally
- To use one’s potential creativity to the fullest
- To be self confident and genuine in one’s relationships
- To be able to bear differences without having to persecute or punish
- To accept that one might have to fight against injustice done
- To recognize and acknowledge one’s flaws
- Not to be paralysed in the face of judgemental analysis
- To be one’s own person without having to deprive others
- To be separate from one’s parents view of you
- To stand alone
- To be able to bear existential loneliness
- To act with selflessness
- To give without expectation to receive back
- To follow one’s dreams and heart
- To be non compliant
- To be sincere and kind in relationships
- To be spontaneous and in touch with the unknown
- To trust one’s intuition and one’s unconscious
- To understand that genuine madness is fruitful
- To be able to work playfully and love one’s work
- To be able to be sad and disappointed
- To be able to feel holy anger and express it
- To understand that splitting is the essential of life
- To understand that splitting is part of growth
- To understand that splitting is part of love, creativity and friendships
- To understand that pain is unavoidable in understanding oneself and others
- To be able to forgive injustice done without settling for it
- To be able to start anew every day
- To be able to live in the moment without having to define oneself
- To be able to understand and live according the insight that the whole is more than the sum of its parts
- To be able to see oneself separate from one’s understanding of oneself
- To be able to separate from history and determinism
- To be able to understand and live according the insight that one cannot generalise over facts
- To be able to understand that being with another person includes taking risks
- To be able to be vulnerable and make mistakes
- To be able to take risks and learn from the other
- To stop persecuting oneself and others
- To be in touch with one’s understanding of oneself against all odds.
- To trust others and oneself
- Not to have to be moralistic
- Not to have to be dogmatic but being able to stand for one’s view.
- To be able to be flexible and have a sense of humour towards failings of oneself, others and life.
- To be able to be spiritual and believe if one wishes so.
- To be able to understand and act upon one’s sexuality.
- To be able to accept insecurity and uncertainty.
- To understand that the need of one’s children come before one’s own needs
- To allow one’s children to be ungrateful
- To allow one’s children to be different from oneself and rebel against authoritarian arguments about what is best for them. As one dares to do oneself as well
- To understand that there is a narcissistic need to flourish and cherish it as much in oneself, one’s children and others
- To abstain from masochistic and sadistic relationship impulses and understand them within oneself and others
- To resist becoming institutionalised
- To resist living out of the mental sphere that projects lack and fear; this encourages competitiveness, greed and egotism
- To understand that if one shares there will be enough for every one
- To understand that rules are there to be broken for the good if necessary
- To understand that boundaries are essential but not absolute
- To understand that one’s life is one’s own
- To understand that the unconscious is endless, timeless, limitless and amoral
- To understand that being in touch with the unconscious is rejuvenating and the fountain of wisdom and birth
- To understand that evil has to be faced but not feared
- To understand that this list is endless
Maaike Engelen is a psychoanalytic child and adolescent psychotherapist in private practice. She publishes poetry and collaborates in international art projects. She is amongst other things interested in developing a writing style that reflects upon clinical work in a non- academic or non-alienating manner.
(Published in: Empedocles – European Journal for the Philosophy of Communication, vol. 6.2 (2015), pp. 195-194.)